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Tanta doesn't just rock.. Tanta Excels !!
haha, thanks Tanta! have a good day, try not to biff yourself on the forehead with a champagne cork like i just did.
Excel Pornmovies! Coming soon, catch the fever!
BETWEEN THE SPREADSHEETS
HEADERS AND FOOTERS
SHARED WORKSPACE
and my personal fave:
INSERT THIS
Reminds me of David Byrne's excursions into Powerpoint art.
Good work!
Now wait.. is there more to this ?
I see a Tab 1 & Tab 2. Does the pig get roasted in Tab 3 ?
You can make Spam if you do a Pivot Table.
Happy Holidays to you and CR.
I'm impressed. I can't believe I haven't seen anything like this before.
for all the new people, if you click the "Musee Des Beaux Arts" label, you can see the previous entry into the now growing CR Art Collection.
Holy Scamorza, I dipped into some of the comments from yesterday . . . wow.
I can only say that I remain endlessly amazed by the mentality some people have that nobody would ever do anything just for entertainment purposes, and that the motive for every action must be money-making.
I realize that many, too many, people have this conception of the world. They will continue to puzzle over my and CR's motivations until the internet goes dark after the sun freezes.
As someone who can spend hours making pig pictures with a spreadsheet, I of course have no idea how to respond to such people. We all get our jollies somehow. I earn money because I have to to live. When I have earned enough to cover living expenses, I play. My goal in life has always been to develop a lifestyle that can be supported by as little work as possible, so that excess time and energy can be frittered away on apparently pointless activity.
Since I got seriously ill, I am even more committed to the view that it's my life, not yours, and if I want to spend it perverting the purpose of a Microsoft product, then that's what I'm going to do. If that upsets your schematic view of the world--if it makes you spend countless frustrated hours trying to figure out how I'm makin' the big bucks off this--well, you need to fix your schemata. I like mine just fine.
I do note that unfortunate comment threads can have some redeeming value, if we choose to look at it that way. For instance, without the eruption of misbehavior a few threads ago I'd have missed bacon dreamz's request that we all get a bong.
Even Freud once admitted that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. We have commenters who need to be reminded that sometimes intellectual pursuits are just intellectual pursuits. Their subject might be finance, but that does't make them disguised philistinism.
And if that anonymous character with the repeated demands for "disclosures" keeps it up, I will write a post listing every letter opener, coffee cup, umbrella, tote bag, pen, pencil, chip clip, stress toy, coaster, can-holder and mouse pad with a logo on it I have ever received over the last 20 years from mortgage market participants. That would be longer than any UberNerd post I have ever written or will write. Fair warning.
You can make Spam if you do a Pivot Table.
Now, that's funny.
Bless you. I'm off to make pivot tables . . .
Hint:
Hitting alt + print screen, as opposed to just print screen allows only the active windows to be screenshot. Just in case you don't want the whole world to see your entire desktop.
Tanta, CR et. al.
Merry Christmas!
Hey I don't use Excel. Lest we forget, Excel is part of MS legacy of "embrace, extend, extinguish". How much innovation in spreadsheets has Excel provided in the last 14 years? Yeah, thought so.
I use OpenOffice and am quite happy about it.
Lemme see here:
Happy Happy Holidays Everyone!!!
Isn't an animated spreadsheet the same thing as what computer scientists call a cellular automaton? I believe the set of cellular automata is isomorphic to the set of all Turing machines. There are even theories of the cosmos based on these things.
You thought you were goofing off? The Pig is DEEP.
Tanta,I do have a conscience.It is in a lacquered box on the mantle next to the ashes of my favorite Tarantula.That sider could REALLY DANCE.Love,Tom
Ha Bacon. That's great.
You can also record a macro that will flip to the next sheet. I can't remember the command to pause so the movie will play at the right speed, but you can ask at the MrExcel.com message board (my other haunt).
Merry Christmas.
Nicely done:
Resolution:
For 2008, Tanta's xls will rival or exceed CR's.
I see a Tab 1 & Tab 2. Does the pig get roasted in Tab 3 ?
Refresh the page and you will find out what happens in Sheet3.
Well, now Tanta gives up a career as an excel artist to teach us about nerdy mortgage stuff.
Merry Christmas, internet!
Merry Christmas, Tanta and CR!
Merry Christmas, world!
Those folk who seriously see the world as forever profit-making and actually believe the words to the Wu-Tang song C.R.E.A.M. -- It's basically a reducio ad absurdum, I can't believe anyone is actually like that unless their goal is to be the old banker guy in It's a Wonderful Life. Of course, Tanta, the other possibility is that the guy was just a troll - a less-powerful second cousin, perhaps, of He Who Shall Not Be Named?
Anyhow, fun stuff, I think I have a chance to explore this during a phone meeting on Thursday. And to think.. I had been planning on catching up on historical uber-nerd-dom!
When I have earned enough to cover living expenses, I play.
In a novel during the 60's, a female Hong Kong investment banker explains the concept of F-U money which (as the name implies) is sufficient investments to live well enough, long enough so that one can walk away without fear from an undesirable situation - in other words say F-U! Being an IB she quantified this as $1 Million (in 60's dollars).
This made so much sense that I made that my goal and invested rather than consume (partying was exempt) and was able to retire at 56 when the company offered a sweetened package to get rid of "legacy" employees.
People who have never worked for a major company probably do not understand the pressure to accept it's culture. I was told many times to always walk fast and carry a piece of paper to look busy and I am a Southerner who doesn't do anything fast (but it all gets done ,as Tom Petty says, with a "Southern Accent"). I finally told a boss that I was looking for a job when I came there - I already had a culture.
Bottom line, thank goodness for F-U money and an inexpensive life style (my Wife is also ill so we don't spend much, which is OK)
Merry Xmas
Jim
"Being an IB she quantified this as $1 Million (in 60's dollars)."
So, what does that sum represent in CY2008 dollas?
While central banks in Europe are offering dollar funding to European banks, one suspects that the supply is not sufficient to compensate for the rapid shrinkage of the asset-backed commercial paper (ABCP) market. As may be recalled, a number of special investment vehicles (SIVs), sponsored by European banks, were financing investments in long-term US mortgage-backed securities by issuing commercial paper. The carry was very attractive. But, in the recent and on-going credit squeeze, the size of the ABCP market has shrunk from $1,200 bn to nearly half. Several of the sponsoring banks have had to take back the assets on their books, with little roll over of the CPs.
But, given the amounts involved, one wonders whether European banks are swapping European currencies in USD to fund the assets: is this the reason why the dollar has risen sharply over the last few weeks? This apart, as far as the SIVs sponsored by American banks are concerned, the big three of US banking Citi, BankAm and Morgan had announced the creation of a $75 bn fund to take over assets from the SIVs unable to roll over funding in the CP market. Given the conditions attached, the fund does not seem to be finding too many takers. A V Rajwade: No traditional cheer
While it is hard to calculate the damage, it is clear that roughly $2,000bn (£1,000bn) of sub-prime debt and related 'Alt-A' debt is worth far less than book value.
Some can disguise these paper losses. Others are not so lucky. Those that rely on short-term funding in the US commercial paper market can no longer roll over loans, forcing them to sell assets into a sliding market. The asset-backed commercial paper market has contracted for 12 weeks in a row, cutting off $300bn in funding.
Deutsche Bank chairman Josef Ackermann warns that total sub-prime losses are likely to be $150bn to $250bn, triple the bank's estimate in July.
While Citigroup has come clean with write-down of up to $11bn in mortgage loans, few lenders have stepped forward to take their punishment.
Two visitors!
Who else is avoiding cleaning the house for company coming?
Tanta,
You are showing your obvious youth and inexperience. As someone who's first experience with computer art came in the early eighties, with the Snoopy calendars put out by the fledgling computer department at UCI, and who's first "personal computer" was a trash80, I was was amazed when IBM came out with the fabulous 286. I can tell you you haven't lived until you've prepared a 3000 line, 500 million dollar capital budget for a chain of hospitals, using Lotus 123 on the aforementioned 286, and found after weeks of work that you somehow had a circular error. Now that's some fun!
Anyhoo, the merriest of Christmas's to you, Tanta, you crazy young thing, you.
Trishyla
OT
Audrey Davison lives alone, gets a $620 Social Security check each month and worries about the sharply rising taxes on her four-bedroom house. Davison, 76, raised her family there and after 43 years, she really doesn't want to leave Greenburgh.
Greenburgh doesn't want her to leave, either.
The town is pushing a program that would let seniors work part-time, for $7 an hour, to help pay off some of their property taxes.
Business finance news - currency market news - online UK currency markets - financial news - Interactive Investor
The future, get use to it.
Trishyla, thanks for making me feel young. I, too, have painted the range, and I too have removed the Program Disk and inserted the Print Disk, after making sure the perf strips were carefully aligned over the feed pins. My first PC was an Osborn. No, I don't miss that shit at all.
Otherwise I am capable of having a circular error in a 30-line spreadsheet I've spent nearly twenty minutes on. Perhaps I spend too much time playing with the fill color palette . . .
Tanta: I can only say that I remain endlessly amazed by the mentality some people have that nobody would ever do anything just for entertainment purposes, and that the motive for every action must be money-making.
Yeah. Merry Christmas. I'm more horrified than amazed by that mentality. I think it just reflects the scheming schemata of many people. For anybody concerned with fairness, encounters with the kill-to-get-ahead game planners is confusing and depressing. I made a sarcastic joke about Doc Holiday timing and the announcement of a paid newsletter being a conspiracy going to the highest level of the blog. When somebody is serious about something I'm sarcastic about... whoa. The funniest part is that for anybody that has read enough of both your posts, they should understand you two well enough that such a suggestion of a hidden agenda profit motive is hilarious.
Here lies objective fact:
http://thumbsnap.com/v/TUcob6Px.jpg
Happy Holidays everybody and thanks for all the data and laughs.
Soooo pretty.... I had to do that kind of thing with the devil's package, Powerpoint. My old spreadsheet program was from the IIc utility disk, or just draw on the greenbar paper. Such care free days before outsourcing!
Unce upon a time, entertainment was produced by small communities, not by huge corporations and also was not consumed on a global scale. Thank God for the Internet to keep us from totally fading into cultural oblivion.
And thanks for this small reminder of the way things used to be, Tanta.
PS - I promised I wouldn't be back here til after Christmas, but dinner is in the oven and the Grinch-lets are busy consuming the loot they got from Grandma and Grandpa. So I guess my willpower needs some work.
Bwahahahahaha,
You clusers is so funny. Try recovering those files after you lose them.
YouTube - System Administrator's Day song
Merry Christmas.
Cheers,
Appropos very little, except the topic has been broached here, my first home computer (1977) was the Commodore PET 8k of RAM. (I paid extra or it would have been 4 k); tiny square keys and a cassette tape recorder for storage. $995!
BUT...it did have a built-in BASIC assembler that you could do great things with and I even did some machine-language coding.
I bought it on the advice of a colleague who said, "Buy a computer now, while their still complicated and expensive."
Great Mortgage Pig (TM) art! That made me laugh. Thanks Tanta!
Happy Holidays to all.
Et tu, Martha, & the very best of health to you in 2008! You also, CR.
Ah, trips down computer history lane.
I actually was one of the earliest "geeks" (although the word had yet to be invented). It seemed so hi-tech to a recent graduate to write a Fortran program, keypunch it into tab cards, take to the computer room, and fill out a request for the program to be compiled and printed out on the shiney new IBM 360 mainframe. If lucky you got the results the same day and could correct format errors and then back to the keypunch machine (after perhaps putting your name on a waiting list) and repeat the cycle a week or two until you actually got some reasonable output. If this sounds awful then pity the fool who previously had to "program" a tab processing machine by a forrest of wires and plugs (don't ask - thankfully I missed that era).
That technolgy has gone from tab cards to the internet and from Fortran to Excel in just 40 years is truly amazing. Of course all the IT jobs seem to be going to India so maybe I should count my blessing. The IT group at my last employer has been replaced by a Mexican outsourcer who rotates teams every six months to avoid them being defined as permanent.
Merry Xmas
Jim
Sort the pig by ascending then descending and you have bacon strips!
Just watched the Bill Gross video at FT.
He issued a surprisingly vehement prediction that the US entered a recession in Dec.
Click here
Gross believes that any recession would be mild if the FED lowers to 3% and the government introduces massive fiscal stimulus (e.g. increase deficit to 5% of GDP). If you read between the lines he seems to be acknowledging that there is risk that insufficient stimulus will be applied. He avoids discussion of this hard landing scenario. For a ghoul like gross to avoid talking about a hard landing is a little unnerving.
There was also discussion of asset bubbles, reflation, austrian theory, Greenspan, and BB. Not surprisingly, the economy according to Gross would be ideal for the bond market. I think his prediction that inflationary pressure will not be an issue is wishful thinking.
So the first one is "Spider-pig" and the second one is "Harry Plopper"?
Sweeet! Now you've got Gravatars!
"Just watched the Bill Gross video at FT"
B Gross is a shameless shill, always talking his book. For that matter, every fund manager is a shameless shill...
Merry Christmas! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this blog, CR & Tanta.
Picasso was born too soon... sigh.
Happy Holidays all!
NC Jim | 12.25.07 - 6:20 pm |
Did your college have a total of six keypunch machines on campus? Mine did, three were reserved for the business school students who used Cobol. Us engineering types used the other three to punch in Fortran version 4 (I think). Next day turnaround only early in the quarter, if you waited until the end to do your homework, you would wait days to get back the printout...
It seemed so hi-tech to a recent graduate to write a Fortran program, keypunch it into tab cards, take to the computer room, and fill out a request for the program to be compiled and printed out on the shiney new IBM 360 mainframe.
If it had been a small college in Central Florida, with a Univac mainframe instead of the IBM, I might have been the nerd on the other side of the counter processing those Fortran class assignments. Small world
Excel movies: you should be able to do this by programming something in VB, so scrolling wouldn't be necessary. You'd run the VB program and you'd see the animation animate run before your eyes.
So Sad! I used to dispurse FHA 203k funds in the 90's when I worked for Wells Fargo (Norwest Mortgage back then). All those exciting contractor receipts. Very fun work (not!). Thanks for reminding me, Tanta.
Angela